Homeschooling, Socialization, and the Autism Spectrum

Guest Post by Homeschooling Mom Heather DeGeorge  


Editor’s note:  When I mention home education as an option some in the education world who are in my PLN have brought up socialization being an issue.  Heather DeGeorge has had wonderful feedback which she shares on the Homeschooling, Unschooling, Uncollege, Opt Out, DIY, Hack Your Education group. I asked her to share her insights here and she said yes!  This is part 2 of her insights.  Part 1 addresses homeschooling and socialization in general.  Thank you Heather.


I am a mother of a child in the spectrum.  Our journey started when he was flagged with profound delays at 9 months old and suspected of cerebral palsy.  I remember when, as a nursing infant of a stay-at-home mother, my son had no concept that I had left the room let alone gone out to the store.  I remember when he had progressed to the point of being able to verbalize a need, but didn’t understand that a human needed to be present to hear it in order for that need to be met.  I remember the very first time he laid his head on my shoulder, or looked me in the eye—because they were exceptions in our life.


He is now 7-1/2 years old.  I have a Master’s in Education with additional graduate credits in Special Education and teaching children with autism.  I have been a foster parent.  


And I homeschool.


None of these things seem to belong in the same paragraph, do they?  Every therapist, specialist and educator would scream that these things are mutually exclusive: a child in the autism spectrum and homeschooling. Their most fervent argument is the need for the child to be socialized.  And they are right.  We simply disagree on the best method of providing that education to a child in the autism spectrum.


I had two very major concerns for my son’s education:

1) not squashing his love of learning (which I wasn’t sure he had, but didn’t want to remove the opportunity for) by forcing him to do work that was below his level simply as a means of teaching him how to follow directions (with the mindset that: because he already knew how to do those things, the frustration level would be with following the directions vs. following directions AND completing the task)

2) a school’s ability to direct his interpersonal development. By this, I really meant: are they truly going to be able to supervise and mentor his relational skills in that setting better than I could do as a homeschooling mother? Who's going to be responsible for this in the classroom? A teacher with training specific to my kid's needs (and not split among 6+ other kids)? Or the aide assigned to him who has a high school diploma and MAYBE some specialized training (if at all)?  And do any of them share my ideas of what “acceptable behavior” is?


It really came down to seeing the classroom in session first-hand. I'll be honest: I ADORED the preschool disabled teacher my son would've been with. She believed in all the same literature that I did--had studied much of the theories I was most supportive of. She was really good with the kids.


But at the end of the day, the classroom setting wasn't going to be a good fit for my son. At the time, he had more oppositional behavior than he does now. In a school setting, there was absolutely no way they would legally be able to work him through that in ways that were going to produce the results that I wanted for my child. They wouldn't be allowed to hug and rock him until he calmed down from a rage. They wouldn't know him well enough to understand when it was okay for him to be upset for any length of time (at least not till mid-year at BEST). These were very big deals. And with no real way to redirect him into compliance (he had no real "currency" for praise and frankly, I'm not "for" the whole "If you do this, you can do/have that" mentality anyway) I just felt that it was a recipe for him seeing the classroom as a place of no real consequences for poor behavior... and that becoming the mentality about school.


Instead, we tried two different private schools--moving mid-year when the first didn't work out. Neither was a good fit.


The following year (what would've been his pre-K year) we kept him home. I dreaded it given his behavior issues; but ultimately it was the best thing ever. I was able to supervise and mentor his relational skills in a way that made so much more progress. Of course, I also made a serious effort to have him out and about a lot. About halfway through that year, the behavior started to level off and things were really good.


The people that gave me a hard time about him needing the socialization are baffled when I explain that children like my son truly needed more help with socialization--help that *I* could give him one-on-one by being there all the time. I didn't intervene, but I was there. I saw what happened first-hand vs. what the teacher managed to catch and/or he remembered from the day (assuming he could even verbalize it). I was able to work him through it right after it happened while it was fresh in his mind (and heart). Sometimes I was able to work him through it while it happened (although this was rare). And I was always modeling behaviors for him... when we were at stores, the library, at group activities. He really couldn't have had better social skills training and he couldn't have had it more intensively. Furthermore, it was social skills training that I knew I was in line with, because *I* was giving it to him.

He WAS in a classroom setting until his pre-k year. But my child was becoming the "problem child" and THAT was also something I didn't want to stick.


There are absolutely still issues.  He has very little idea when kids are taking advantage of him.  He’s been held down against his will and still thinks that child is his friend.  And really, he presents like most neurotypical 7-year-old boys, which is a blessing and curse: he looks like every other kid—but he isn’t.  There is no question that he could’ve been mainstreamed into a first grade classroom at first grade thanks to the work we did at home for two years.  I’m not confident that level of progress could’ve happened in a classroom.

We will continue to keep our son home where he is free to learn his lessons—social and academic—at his own pace, with better supervision by someone whose interest in him is unparalleled even by the most loving teacher, and whose values are the ones who SHOULD be instilled in his social skills.  


It is not bashing the schools to say that they are incapable of providing my son with the level of socialization that we were capable of providing him at home.  It is a matter of student-teacher ratio, teacher expectation (which research shows has a PROFOUND effect on achievement), and opportunity.  The best teachers will concede that some children simply do better in a home environment.  And to those who would say (and have said) that my training in teaching makes it okay for my son, I will tell you unequivocally that the bulk of my education dealt with teaching me how to juggle the needs of 24+ children at a time and legal issues.  The precious little that applies to teaching my own child at home is easily found on the internet by parents willing to look.


This is not a popular route.  It is generally not a SUPPORTED route.  But it is a life-changing course of action for your child that could make a world of difference.


Consider it.


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Heather DeGeorge holds a Bachelor's in Business Administration and a Master's in Education with additional graduate credits in Special Education and teaching children with autism.  She is a biological and adoptive mother; and former foster mother and teacher.  Her journey with the children in her life and helping in their significant struggles has led her to becoming certified in Holistic Health Counseling and focusing on children with developmental and behavioral issues.

You have read this article Autism / DIY Learning / home education / homeschooled / homeschooling / unschooled / unschooling with the title Autism. You can bookmark this page URL https://benncam.blogspot.com/2011/07/homeschooling-socialization-and-autism.html. Thanks!

Misunderstood; A Child’s Perspective

By Jacob Gutnicki

They look at my face

And say, is he in outer space

They say, what a waste

He’s playing with toothpaste

I say, look at me

Walking on my knee

Bet you think it’s crummy

I think it’s very funny

I have been call wild

I am the autistic child

Don’t expect me to speak

Just because you say eek

Don’t be in a funk

Because I play with junk

Some think I am a foolish prancer

They don’t know I grow up to cure cancer

You have read this article Autism / education / poem with the title Autism. You can bookmark this page URL https://benncam.blogspot.com/2010/07/misunderstood-childs-perspective.html. Thanks!

A Parents' Search for Inspiration to Reach Children with Autism

By Jacob Gutnicki

First Inspiration – First Child

As parents of 2 autistic children, my wife and I have set a few goals for our children. One goal is to assure that they both read proficiently. In trying to achieve this goal, it is incumbent upon us to have our children get excited about reading. With this in mind, we have used a number of methodologies, tactics, and materials to achieve this valiant goal.

In the beginning, we tried teaching our older son his letters. We used picture books that display the word along with pictures and have words sequenced in alphabetical order. It is believed that the picture to word association will strengthen their concepts of letters and words. We also used a variety of phonics-based software, which mimic this approach. Additionally, we employed the use of Leapfrog Books, which allowed him to touch the objects and/or words and hear the words read to him. These combined approaches were yielding limited successes. Naturally, we were eager to crack the code and figure out how to help our older son become more communicative.

One day, I was sitting with my son at the computer. He was introducing me to Thomas and his friends. You know, Gordon, Edward, Percy, Henry, Toby, Mavis, and so on. I started thinking about this little incident and said to myself, “How can he differentiate the subtle differences between Gordon, Thomas, and Edward. After all, these 3 engines are blue and are the same length.” In fact, the only unique differences between these characters were the expressions on their faceplate.

As I thought about this incident further, I realized 2 things.

1- If he could distinguish the subtle differences between Thomas, Gordon, and Edward, he was certainly capable of noting the different features in the ABC.

2- In teaching him the ABC or other content area, it will be extremely important that the medium used are high interest materials.

Epilogue… Approximately, 4 years have passed since the “Thomas incident.” Since this time, our son has mastered his ABC’s, reads books, writes sentences, and is extremely verbal. Through it all, the computer along with engaging applications and web sites has motivated him to read and write. When he installs software, he will attempt to read the directions and ask for help when he gets stuck. He has watched numerous video tutorials to learn how to use programs like Garage Band, iMovie, and other applications. When our son watches a video featuring Sponge Bob or other popular characters he will pause the program and attempt to read the signs being displayed. He will also ask me what keyboard shortcuts I employ to eject CDs or close programs. In short, through the use of technology, being literate has become relevant in his life. After all, you cannot find your favorite train model unless you know how to spell Santa Fe El Capitan.

As his educational journey continues, my wife and I reminisce about this and other early learning moments as it reminds us to not underestimate the importance of finding materials that get him excited about learning. This is why when he tells us about a software program he is using in his school; we always keep an open mind. After all, if Thomas the Tank Engine can teach our son his ABC’s, anything is possible.

First Inspiration – Second Child

Our second child is beginning his journey. Currently, his use of words has vastly improved over the past few months. However, he has many miles to go. With this in mind, we were hoping that lightning would strike twice and that he would also become more literate through technology. Over the past year, I have made various attempts to engage him through the use of technology. For the most part it has been a dismal failure. About two months ago, we started using the Wii with him. This seems to have caught his attention. Our little one often says, “bowling, bowling, bowling.” A few weeks later, I installed a touch screen on his computer hoping that would get him excited. At first, this tactic had limited success. My little one would play with the computer for 15 minutes and would then walk away to do something else. Naturally, I tried putting him on the computer a few more times and achieved similar results.

Then on the morning of February 7^th, everything changed. He said, “computer, computer, computer, I want computer.” We rush down to the basement and my older boy started teaching the little one how to use Kid Pix.

Seven days later... The little one continues to ask for the computer. He loves to use his fingers and draw pictures on the touch screen. Occasionally, with a smirk on his face he will lift the mouse and press it against the touch screen. He has also begun to ask for Thomas and Elmo. More importantly, he watches their escapades with great interest, identifies objects they are teaching about, and laughs when the characters do something silly. In the end, the smile on the little one says it all. So… the journey begins again as little digital boy begins to enter the world of technology.

Resources to try with your children

Want to try Thomas the Tank Engine activities with your children? Visit the following web site;
Build an Engine- This activity is a great way to introduce your children to puzzles and basic problem solving in mathematics. When you visit this website you will notice a number of other activities. Many of them are fun, educational, and will certainly delight young children.

Want to spend the day with Thomas? Visit the following web site;
Day Out with Thomas - If your child loves Thomas this will no doubt delight your child. In short, Thomas and crew take over a train station for the weekend and the family has an opportunity to ride Thomas the Tank Engine. There are many other activities at these events and your child will have a great time.

You have read this article Autism with the title Autism. You can bookmark this page URL https://benncam.blogspot.com/2010/02/a-parents-search-for-inspiration-to.html. Thanks!